Hi Tessa,

So you have a base foundation with family and at work. That sounds like a start! It makes me emotional to see people when they find out about my situation and they want to jump in and help out in anyway. Agreed, sounds like the necessities are being covered and its been great.

Wow, that new relationship doesn’t sound like it was a great experience. Sounds like you regret it and would not recommend doing.

When my wife separated and moved out of the house, she went to go live at her mom’s house. (still there) She has removed all of her old friends, best girl friend and me from her life. She has a new group of friends now (from working together at a previous job) and I think all of them are divorced. (I call it the divorce club) As luck would have it, 6 weeks into the separation, she was already spending the night at one of the guy’s house after a wedding they attended, then another weekend she spent the night. I was in shock, all these years and this is how quickly we move? She got upset and said they are just platonic friends and she hasn’t colored with anyone during this separation. She has been “completely faithful in this relationship” up until now. I found it odd that she used the word “faithful” and “relationship” to me during our separation, moving to divorce. But hey… Just upsetting how quickly she is moving I guess. But then again, she filed so she may have been prepared for that sort of thing.

Yeah, time and acceptance I guess is helping with the anxiety. Still get little blips here and there… But the more I find that I am accepting this and letting go, I think the easier it is becoming? Monitoring my blood pressure as well… and it got a little elevated which is not ideal. So that is finally coming down to normal levels. Amazing how many things get affected going through something like this… That is a good idea with writing in my journal and adding strategies and foods. I find myself looking back at the beginning of my process and shaking my head. Was I fool for trying/doing everything I could to try and save my marriage? Did I ever really have a shot?

I year you about running… you have to be into it and if you are not, then nope! Hehe That is excellent, you have a car. Another mode of independence for you and the kids. You definitely have your hands full with the kids. No doubt about that. But you sound like an incredible mom, keep it up for them and for you. Dealing with twins alone can be challenging when you are outnumbered.

My wife and I used to laugh about having kids… with our son, it was still 1 v 2… then our oldest daughter arrived, we were still able to play “man to man” in the 2 v 2 setup. Then our youngest daughter arrived and we have to switch to a “zone defense” being outnumbered 3 v 2. Lol You have your hands full.

Yeah, Christmas is not going to be fun. You have a family to wake up together that day to spend time around the tree opening gifts and spending quality time together. And that will not happen this year. My son is coming from college and he told me he is spending Christmas Eve with me that night and the morning so I am not alone. Love that kid. The girls will be at their mom’s house celebrating Christmas. Just sad, something that was beautiful once will on longer be ever again.

So he and I will have to figure something out to do Christmas morning. Maybe even go hiking together and find new adventures.

I don’t understand your exs response about being full of glee… Its Christmas… time to be spent with family, your significant other your children. Wow… I cant even relate to that… I am going to be so upset those two days, I don’t know what to do with myself. If my son wasn’t willing to hang out and babysit me, I don’t know what I would do. Christmas will have turned into a terrible day.

I have to figure something out for Christmas… do something to make it special.

Jeff