Skeezyks,

Thank you for your comments and insight. I know no one on here is going to able to answer the question on if I have a chance, I guess was just looking for someone with a similar experience and partly rhetorical. Maybe a better question would have been, how do people cope with giving "space"? I know I screwed up but I also know that I was doing damage to myself not having any kind of closure or timeline. I was festering, unable to function, eat, sleep, see my kids. I was unable to sit back and let things be without literally driving myself crazy. The damage is done and at least I can say I put everything on the table, whether it pushed her away further or not.

I have been thinking about counseling, I have not had the best experience but admittedly didn't give it the best chance and I know not all therapists are equal or a match. I have made it though hell and back once so I know there is hope. Thank you for taking the time and commenting, I really means a lot.

workinonit32