He doesn't want you to go for individual therapy. He doesn't want to try couples' counselling. He is passive-aggressive towards you. He asks you to share and when you do, he berates and blames you. He has a kink that he now wants to explore with you and does not respect your 'no' but sulks like a child when he does not get his own way. He blames the state of your marriage and sexual life solely on you.

Do you see the trend here?

HE does not make the rules. He cannot force you to do *anything* you do not want to do, whether in the bedroom or out. There seems to be no communication possible between the two of you. At least, no healthy communication.

If he wants to save this marriage, then he ought to grow up and attend couples' counselling because you are not his toy or his object of pleasure. You are entitled to have a mind of your own and preferences of your own.