From what I understand, yes - they are normal for those individuals that are working on abandonment and interpersonal pain/trauma. Like L says.

I guess the theory is that because of our trauma/history, we never learnt that ruptures (or misunderstandings and differences) can exist in caring/loving relationships while remaining our authentic self -- or simply remaining in the relationship. Something about love and conflict/anger/hate existing within a healthy and safe relationship.

And yeah the rupture/repair cycle repetition is suppose to teach us that it is safe. I think there's something with some of us about early early needs not being met... those early ruptures... like upset infant not being seen as upset so there is no/little emotional regulation done by the mother. Maybe the baby is quiet and fusses very little so the mommy doesn't really pay huge attention to the fussing because she doesn't realize that if there is any fuss it is really a big deal for the baby. Or maybe the baby is really fussy and mommy can't figure out what is the issue so the mommy finally gives up. In both cases - the babies dysregulation is not resolved (enough times, effectively enough) thus a rupture occurs.... and if the mommy doesn't return in the right way for that specific baby... the repair portion.. the rebuild of trust doesn't occur.

Or that's some of how I understand it ... from what my T has talked about and what I read.... all based on some of the theories that are out there.