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Originally Posted by Tjpg
Hey Jeff,
Thank you for keeping us informed on whats happening. I can relate with the packing and taking of the things. Its really hard. And to be honest I tried to not be there. I felt extreme anger and tried to pick fights... I had to try and keep it together for my kids.
Wether shes playing a game with that or not, brace yourself. I am extremely happy that your friends will be there.
If I were in your situation, I would have my friends there and not attend myself. She would be astounded when your friends told her that you had better things to do.
The thing is about her throwing every emotion at you, including kindness, sadness, anger is that she may not know it but she actually doesnt know how to live life without you right now. No clue. So she acts out, at you, because you guys have acted out to each other your whole lives basically as any married couple does. I mean, I am also separated so my advice isnt coming from a professional anything lol
Anyhow, I hope this helps and that Sunday goes okay. Good on you for keeping your boundaries and yourself in check. So hard to do!
Tessa
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Hi Tessa,
This is going to be really tough. I am fortunate to have my friends shoulder to shoulder with me. I don’t like going through this… someone I have know most of my life wants nothing to do with me and is looking to hurt/manipulate me in anyway as “pay back”. Or to see if she can get more money out of me.
Interesting point. My therapist brought that up as well. She does not know who she is NOT being my wife. Her behavior is emotional and erratic at best. I think that is what gave me hope about the future. That the hot/cold treatment was her struggling with what she wants to do, or perhaps she is telling herself this is the right thing to do. Mind over heart? I don’t know, I do not think I will ever truly know.
Yeah, I need to accept that this is happening and even possibly starting to look at it as a “business transaction” that needs to be finalized. I think that is the hard part… nearly 3 decades of relationship, emotions, love, intimacy, best friend, companion, wife… Im trying to turn a corner to accept that this is not going to change back and I need to start defending myself and looking out for any assets/cash that carry over into my future “new world”.
Thanks, tomorrow is not going to be fun. A lot of symbolism… She has been radio silent now… I am 98% sure she figured out I have an attorney now. So her anxiety/panic level just went up 10-fold and is radio silent to keep from communicating with me.
Jeff