I have been told I am on the spectrum. I wonder if a certain parenting style fosters autism. This is not to blame you. I have so many problems and I claim them. If our moms were lacking in emotional expression and interacted with us only in matter of fact way might we have been denied learning how to recognize emotion and how to return them? The problem is I have no memory of my mom touching me, smiling at me, talking to me. Why? Why can't I remember one single word of praise or affection.? Did she play with me? read to me? teach me anything? Surely she held my hand to cross streets. I feel so guilty. I think she must have done all these things. Why is there no memory? I know she had little interest in me later in life. However, I was feed, taken to the dentist, well-dressed, had toys. She helped me in my adult years if I needed help moving, etc. But she never called me to say hello or to say she missed me. Am I just feeling sorry for myself and too critical of her? I loved her so much, but never felt loved by her.