Minor update…

I think today went well??? My friends came over to sit with me and talk at the kitchen table while drinking and eating pizza. Ex-wife rings the doorbell, her and a close friend of the family are standing outside. Just the two of them.

I open the door, my ex- walks in like she owns the place, we don’t look at each other or say anything. Friends thought this was a ‘power move’ by her to show me who is in charge and that she is going to make me pay today or abuse me. So I focused on the friend of family, I walked with her and talked and said hello. I asked her if I could get a hug. She said yes, of course. So I hugged her and said it is really good to see you. I am sorry it is under these circumstances. She looked at me too said, “I know, me too…” (sad face)

By the time we were done talking, my ex- walked into the kitchen to find my friends sitting at the table all looking at her. She became immediately pissed! Very angry that they were present. She was NOT expecting anyone to be in the house. My friends were acting as witnesses. She goes upstairs to begin packing her stuff. Our friend of the family follows her.

I sit down at the table to talk to my friends and wow… they were smirking… they said my ex- gave them the mother of death glares once she figured out everyone was in the house watching her. One friend (girl) took stock in my ex- and said she is not doing well. Massively underweight… I said I think she is around 110lbs. My friend says… uh, no, I think she is pushing 105 now. Her eyes were dark and sunked, so she is not sleeping well. And her face is starting to show traces of mileage from stress. She clearly has elevated levels of stress in her life and her face is starting to show it. She said she is “not doing well” and this is “not a receipt for success.” (not good)

So each time my ex came down the stairs with stuff to carry outside, she refused to look at us, even shook her head like she cannot believe this is happening. She would walk to the front door, open it, walk through and as she started to close the door each time, she would look me dead in the eyes from across the house where only I could see her and she could see me. She would give me a dirty look as she closed the door. This happened maybe al 6-7-8 times. My friend said to stop looking at her, so I stopped after the 4th time. But why is she starring at me each time she closed the door?

There was one time my ex was bringing down a lot of stuff that it slipped and some fell to the floor. At the exact same time, two of my friends were telling a joke and picking on one another and began laughing. The third friends says to my ex-, whoa that is a big load you have… My ex- believes this means that everyone is laughing at her for dropping something on the ground. They weren’t, they were busy talking amongst themselves and the timing worked out. But my ex gave all 3 friends a very nasty dirty death glare. Which of course, made my friends all smile at her and say nothing.

In the end, she takes the final round, she says nothing to me/us and walks to the door. She stands in the open doorway looking at me. I finally look at her and she gives me the meanest/ugliest look and we hold it for 4-5 seconds before she closes the door and locks it from the outside. My friend (girl) sees me looking and looks to see my ex looking at me and says, whoa! What is that for? That was a downright mean and ugly glance at you! She is REALLY pissed with you! That was BAD!

So talking after… the group thinks she was planning on coming over and controlling the day. Engaging me and talking since I refuse to speak with her on the phone. I no longer text with her… I only email. Boundaries are nice! So she came in today expecting to “hook me” and punish me for the “silent treatment”. But when she realized she wasn’t alone, my friends were present and watching her, she became enraged as plans have now changed and she was no longer in control. To add insult to injury, she now has to walk her stuff outside in front of everyone, so she probably felt awkward. Which made her feel angry. She was a stranger in her own house. But as I was told... this is her decision. She started this...

So I head on upstairs to inspect what is left. She didn’t get everything! Oh no! She may be has 25% of her stuff left. That means she is coming back! Lol So I have done NOTHING but email her she broke me on 11/24. What do I do? I text her… “Are you done for the day?” Within 10 minutes, she responds with something like, Yes, I didn’t want to interfere with your current silent treatment in place to say goodbye. No more entertainment for your party guests today. Enjoy your football party.

So breaking down her text message, her text is manipulating in and of itself. Bashing what she calls my silent treatment. Clearly, does not care for my email-only boundary. She is angry because she thinks everyone was laughing at her when they weren’t. Oh by the way, you are not allowed to have a life, only be miserable like me, so enjoy your football party. (last time I emailed her, it took her 30 hours to respond as a point of reference)

I was hoping to not show any emotion today. If I did, she wins and I lose. And I think what happened was that she walked away enraged with anger that ruined her day. So all in all, a good day and I said nothing, did nothing…

This is probably the first time I had a counterattack on my ex for all the punishment and anger she has thrown at me for the past 3 months. She has to realize that after what she did to me on 11/24, something has changed. She no longer has as much power/influence over me. I wonder if this is a source of concern for her?