Thanks CNS! I do understand what you and Artley are saying.

L and I talked this morning. We were able to figure out what my triggers are: when I have needs or when I feel hurt. Also, that I am not used to change in people's lives, and the changes I have experienced in others tends to lead to abandonment. L is going through a lot of life changes making her less consistent and available. I'm going through major life stressors which increases my needs of her, but it hurts because she can't always be there...even less now. That's the dance. And like you were saying CNS, I'm having not just an emotional reaction to this, but a physical one. L pointed that out today.

All in all, I'm feeling more at easy, more understood, and more known. I really do hope to get better at this interpersonal stuff. I'm trying!