That was also something that was brought up this morning. Usually in my other relationships, if there is a disagreement or hurt, I'm to blame. The expectation is always on me. Like H always blames me in a fight. Or one time I set a boundary with my sister, and my dad scolded me for not helping her. Like I see L as the "healthier" one in the relationship, my family sees me as the "healthier" one. And even if they see a weakness in me, their expectations are still there because they say I have L.

As far as your other post comrade, I am making sure I own my parts, my issues, my baggage, and my dance. That is easy to do for me. I turn the blame onto myself. It's safer that way. I know it's a coping mechanism. It's familiar and it's safer. If it's my fault then maybe I can fix it. And if I can fix it, then maybe they won't leave me.