I did have my Mom long enough to witness her peri- and full menopausal symptoms. She discussed some of them with me. Sadly, however, we lost her to cancer at 53, so further discussion and wise woman conversations never had a chance to take place.

Her experience actually involved an onset of generalized anxiety disorder, and serious sleep problems, which she didn't know much about and which pretty much terrified her. She coped with it by self-medicating with alcohol, as she had done with most stressful situations in her life. I tried not to judge her for this, because the fear and dread filled her eyes. I think her doctor pretty much brushed it all off, as they did in those days (and some still do!) regarding women's health concerns. I just tried to be more available for her, and anticipate her needs a bit better (I was in my twenties, and preparing to head off to college, with her full blessing and insistence, after having worked a few years). Dad was off working on the road a lot, and my sister and brother were simply too self-absorbed at that point to be there for her.

I felt awful leaving her in that state, but she was adamant I carry on with my plans, as I had stuck to our agreement and was already 2+ years behind my peers for hitting campus.

Fast-forward to my own experience with peri- and full-blown menopause, and I found myself experiencing the exact same symptoms. I had terrible attacks of palpitations and heavy perspiration suddenly--- at work, which was distressing, but also out of nowhere, in the peace & quiet of my own home; sleep became just a fond memory of something I had previously enjoyed my whole life; and a desire to medicate with alcohol, which I had never turned to, or been tempted by, ever before. Medical professionals were amazingly blase' about my questions and concerns. I began to have difficulty making decisions, which was new for me. I suspected perhaps something deeper was going on, but had no measure by which to judge it. I found myself isolating more and more, to simply avoid stress.

Even when my anxiety and sleeplessness were becoming very powerful, ruling my days and nights, I did not catch on that it might actually be me sliding into depression. I kept trying to treat everything with exercise, diet, keeping busy, as well as using homeopathic treatments. But I continued to develop some worrying symptoms, and telling myself it was all menopause.

Subsequently, with no older women in my life with whom I could frankly discuss these things (and out of a fear of being laughed out of a doctor's office), it took me awhile to get my GAD and MDD diagnosed, and my menopause also took years to finally wrap up. They kind of walked together for a long time. So, separating the threads and understanding what-happened-when, and how, has been mostly down to hindsight. I could never make distinctions between the two, at the time I was going through it.

I don't think either one affected my personality that much, as I've always strived to not allow personal struggles to affect someone else's existence, as much as humanly possible. But I did lose myself in the low energy lethargy trap, which was very different from my former self. Mostly, I've become a recluse who would desperately like to re-build as much of my former wellness as I can; because when I became ill, I was fit, had plenty of money to support myself, and was in the prime of my life (late 30's). I had no other ongoing health concerns. I had also just met the man I would marry, and had big dreams for our life together, as well. There was no "one cause" for my depression or anxiety. I believe it to have been inherited.

I think it will be years before the medical complex will have answers for so many of women's actual real life concerns. I have seen hormonal changes bring about gigantic changes in women's lives. And yet, there doesn't seem to be much of a mandate, still, for doctors to help with this life-altering fact for so many women. I am sorry to say it will still take years and years for this to change.

Hoping your med pros are more sympathetic than mine and my mom's....