Quote:
Originally Posted by SprinkL3
Yes - that is pretty much a good definition of DID, but we have more than one persona (at least two or more). In my case, I have over 45 or 50. It's hard to keep track. But there are a few alternate personalities (also known as "alters" or "parts" or "insiders") who stand out from the rest, and who come out to handle stressful life situations. The "host" or "main" person is almost always confused and hiding, though she comes out to process and be co-conscious with us once in a while.
The alters have different tasks. Most deal with social stuff - especially the triggering stuff, but some deal with non-social stuff, such as when an alter inside deals with suicidal ideation, or another alter deals with loneliness and depression, or another alter deals with certain memory flashbacks from specific traumas, etc. It's hard for us to be co-conscious when the parts are struggling intensely and feeling some strong emotions.
|
45 or 50!!!!
How do you deal with that!
Having one other is bad enough and not feeling you can be yourself in front of people!!!
I have a 'young mind' I don't see it as a 'seperate me' necessarily but it's the part that loves video games. The 'adult' part rationalises that this is acceptable if used for physio purposes (such as yoga on wii fit), or puzzles for the mind. (to prevent dementia while we are stuck in isolation) and it does also gives us Tinnitus relief as usually so focused on the game it doesn't bother us during gameplay.
I feel a split between two but I think thats only because when I was a teenager I went deaf due to medical problems..I'd also spent a lifetime being made fun of particularly because I couldn't get out my name without stammering.
So I changed my name legally as soon as I could to one I could say more easily..also as a then deaf teenager I was plunged into a very different world..sent to a specialist college to learn lip-reading,work skills and sign language (to be able to access interpreters)...so there was a 'hearing me' (under birth name) and a 'deaf me'. (with a different name)
My parents never learned to sign..given my difficulties getting me speaking in the first place I think they were afraid I'd never speak again if they accepted me signing to them instead, but allowed me to learn it and encouraged me to see myself as my friends interpreters (for those born deaf who struggled more) in the outside world.
I went on to train to be a teacher for the deaf at university using sign interpreters to follow lectures.
Along the way though I discovered I had autism and part of my 'deafness' was actually 'Auditory processing Disorder' related to that..this caused a lot of confusion and some in the deaf community to reject me..cos I wasn't 'pure deaf' even though I could sign as well as them.
Moving back into the 'hearing world' after uni where everyone else was hearing I lost my 'deaf identity' and discovered my 'autistic identity'
I then saw myself for years as a hearing person with autism and APD (Auditory Processing Disorder), although as I've aged I have lost more high frequency in my right ear which is the one giving me the constant Tinnitus if I don't put the hearing aid in with the T program on.
I did wonder if I had multiple personalities for a while I had read about it but was unsure as I know I tend to take things very literally and cos I felt like I'd 'become a different person' switching between hearing to deaf to autistic (or accepting each) it did confuse me for quite a while!
Accepting I could have all those things together and still be one person has taken a while to work through!