Thanks for posting this. I'm sorry I don't have any answers to offer. But a lot of what you wrote applies to me. So I thought I would at least leave a rely. In my case I'm just old, thoroughly confused as to what happened with me, & drained of energy. So at this point, even if I could find a really good therapist, I have neither the will nor the energy to delve into the rat's nest that constituted my life. And as a result I'm just biding my time, doing what has to be done day-to-day, & waiting for nature to take it's course. That's about all I can say.