I am so sorry I have not been following and I’m so sorry about your wife. I don’t know what happened and I don’t wish you to relive it at all so don’t tell me.

But I will say this. My first husband died suddenly almost seven years ago. I found him on the kitchen floor at 4am and I knew he was gone. It was terrible because I had to reconcile with the cause of death, and son was only 4 at the time. I suddenly found myself a single mother.

I think it was about three to four years until I really processed properly. I blamed myself for a long time. I wondered what would happen to my son, how would he get by with no father in his life. My father died too when I was 10 so I knew how it felt but as a male I didn’t understand.

I just want you to know you WILL get through this. Grief can take many forms and take a very long time to fade. It will never fade completely, of course, but you will be more able to remember the happy times instead of focusing on that horrible moment and everything that followed.

Sending good vibes, as always