So dive, then. Accept the pain as a neccessary evil, accept the insecurities and the judgement, the anger and fear of others. Instead of putting your head through a wall when confronted with these feelings, you must learn to let them pass through you. It is a bumpy road and you may never reach the end (noone ever will, there is no end, unless you count death), but you may sometimes feel the good in addition to the bed.