Hi all,
Met with my psychiatrist today. Since my mood has evened out with the Vraylar, we decided to look at anxiety/ADHD. She wants to start me on Adderall. I'm really uneasy about it. This is basically first line treatment, so I have to start somewhere -- but I have my reservations. I live with my mother and that is not the easiest thing in the world. She will literally freak out if she knows I am taking a controlled substance. She has in the past. I don't want to go through that. It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong or like I'm going to become a drug addict. I know that isn't the case but it makes me concerned.

Whats more, I have to get drug tested every three months which isn't an issue, assuming the orders get to the lab. I don't live near the clinic where I get treatement (telehealth) but it appears it will work out, assuming they ever receive the fax. (I've called and they said they've sent it, but they haven't received anything. I've verified the number twice). I will have to do that before I ever take a pill, so I am just impatiently trying to get that out of the way. On top of that, my insurance has a issues with paying for the medicine, and so that's held up with the pharmacy (which is OK! I mean, I don't necessarily need it right now and I couldn't take it anyway until I have the drug testing done). All this red tape makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. I know I probably shouldn't feel that way, but I do.

I'm considering just not taking it, and the next time I see my psychiatrist I will ask for something else, non-controlled. I just feel scared and like I'm doing something wrong.

Nixed the Clonidine and am testing out Propranolol instead. It's as-needed if taking it with the Adderall is overkill. (Assuming I can get over these feelings).