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Old Dec 09, 2021, 02:06 AM
pixiedust72 pixiedust72 is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2018
Location: America
Posts: 157
Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
My T and I have hit a point where he just sort of does shorthand for his suggestions. Like he might say, "You know my suggestions for getting more exercise. OK, that's all I'm going to say." It works because he's acknowledging them, I'm acknowledging them, but he doesn't need to go into a long discussion again and again.

There's a model in public health that talks about the different stages of change. One of them is what's called "precontemplation," which is where a person is just considering making a change, like, "Hm, maybe I should think about quitting smoking at some point." So they're thinking about it, but not ready. Then there's actual contemplation, where they're thinking more seriously about it, but still not ready to actually take the steps. My T has said how people tend to spend a long time in those stages. And how changes can be happening inside, like you're getting closer to them, but aren't ready for them yet. And pushing people doesn't help them to be ready any faster. So maybe that's the case for you?

Or maybe your T is just really off base in what changes she thinks would be good for you, vs. what you'd want. An example might be a T suggesting that a client get out and be social with people. But maybe the client is an introvert, so that's not something that will help them, or it would just feel overwhelming.

I'd tell your T basically what you said here. Maybe see if she'd be willing to back off the suggestions for a bit, too. And talk about what you think might be helpful--maybe you want to do some of the things she suggested, but you need small steps to get there. Or maybe all you can do right now is focus on getting through the day, and that's OK. But I'd definitely try talking to her about it.
I’ve never heard of that model but it makes sense. The thing is I have tried the “usual” recommendations: exercise, mindfulness, etc. and it worked ok at least to put a bandaid on what was going on. I didn’t always talk about it in therapy after I tried those things so I guess for me, I know I’m trying even if for her, she has no idea of how much I’m doing.

I think the biggest issue is that the suggestions are out of the scope of what I can handle right now. (T would say: “how do you know you can’t handle it if you haven’t tried it.”) So another part of me is hurt because I feel like my mental illness isn’t being understood or taken seriously if you think I can do that.
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