Hi everyone.

I started a new job in April that promised the world and didn't deliver. The hours are meant to be 9-5, promised there is a big focus on mental health and wellbeing, work/life balance etc.

Within a month, I was overwhelmed with work and working beyond my 9-5 to stay on top of it for no extra pay or genuine thanks. The company kept promising the work load was getting smaller, we're recruiting for people. Keep going, it will get better soon and all that usual nonsense.

Last month I had my first appraisal, and I was told that they are concerned I'm not keeping on top of it and my organisation needs work. I agree, I could be more organised but I also don't want to work beyond 5pm and the workload doesn't allow for simply finishing up at 5pm. I told them my mental health was impacted as it is a stressful job as it is anyway, the extra hours are really getting to me. Their response was that the only way to stay in top of it is to work extra, everyone else is in the same boat and actually my workload isn't as much as other peoples. It was at this point it had really sunk in that my thoughts about leaving before that, I should just do it.

Yesterday, a family member died unexpectedly. I called in and said I couldn't make it in today, I had only found out one hour before starting. I left notes on what needed done. My files are behind but I have been trying my best.

Today, I wasn't ready to come back. I called in again and was made to feel guilty for not coming back because no one else had time to focus on my work and their own. I worked. I felt like I wasn't given much choice. I didn't work as efficiently as I should have, because understandably my mind is not in the right place. My emotions are all over the place due to the family loss, and I was treated this way.

I'm in disbelief.