I'm very sorry that you have been dealing with these problems, and for so long.

Has any consideration been given to involving a family therapist?

If your wife is unhappy with things as they have now stood for 18 months, what does she propose to do differently?

Unless she has ideas that she is willing to commit to and fight for (no copping out by saying she doesn't like conflict), it sounds like there isn't scope for progress at the moment:

--Your wife wants her mom to apologize to you before you do anything further, and her mom does not seem inclined to do that.

--It appears that your brother-in-law's life will continue as it is, since his mom seemingly is unable to give him any reason or push to live differently.

--Mom reneged on one deal already, how could you trust her in another one?


As you already know, it would be most unwise to get into any kind of legal arrangement/entanglement/shared ownership with Jeff.