I had a recent rupture with a new therapist I was seeing for 2 -3 months to the point of termination (just a few weeks ago), to which I realized that it may have mostly been my fault due to the fact that I was afraid to look deep into my trauma as well as having too high expectations from the therapist herself among other things from my own actions. I feel as if great disservice to myself and for what I had put her through, which thus decided to take a break. During break. I realized that many issues stemmed from my own issues with trusting, people pleasing, PTSD, and even abandonment issues (which may be the cause of what I am somewhat currently am going through). I want to write a thoughtful email as to what I did was wrong in my end and explain as to why I wasn’t a "good match" due to my own intrusive thoughts, projections, judgements of others, feelings, and issues rather than looking deep into them and understanding why. I want to send a deep heartfelt email and in hopes one day to work with her again. She has been most useful during our times in session, but I was too afraid to admit or expected too much of “being comforting” even though she did the best she could and provided the space to do so.