I'm not taking the Vyvanse in the morning. I'll try and make it to work on time. I don't want to be too awake, dealing with people.

I'm really struggling. I don't have any will to explain anything. What I think just feels like nonsense. I feel like I have no connection to anyone that understands me.

The world is a mess. My mind is a mess. I don't even want to type here but I have to try and explain at least something. I'm traumatized. Life is a bad trip. I try to push through, hating myself for avoiding life and then dealing with the consequences of that + I keep making the same mistakes.

It's too complicated of a mess. I could write and talk forever - It goes around in circles. I need a therapist but I'm not sure why.

I don't know what to do any time of the day - I try to figure things out for my own unique situation. I wish I was dead - Or that none of this existed. I've been crying today just like a few days ago.

I know I act like an idiot sometimes to everyone. I'm starting from the ground up - But no one had the cognitive disability that I've had since a kid. I feel like I don't understand anything. Deep down, I see what is wrong. It's like I'm in a box and can't get out - Everyone else is on the outside.

I'm gonna try and sleep - To escape. I want help but I don't know if anyone can really help me. I'm not trying to be dramatic or anything. I'm solipsistic. I'm tired and exhausted - So is everyone right? Why does that matter if no one is actually real? So yeah..