I wouldn't really say I understood it.

I think what you call 'ego states' maybe more similar to autistic masking, or maybe masking is somewhere in between... a bit more intense and exhausting than a neurotypical person's 'ego states' but not on the same level as a completely other personality??? ...more a different version of 'self'.

I have never had amnesia between situations but would be 'someone else' in college or at work and then different again when alone or when going home for the weekend. I'd always be exhausted when I did get chance to be alone but I lived with others (flat share etc) when younger so rarely got chance to 'remove the mask'!


For me though I think it was a case of not understanding that I was autistic when I was younger, thinking very literally and not being able to explain my symptoms well. I tended to freeze then struggle to speak when people were awaiting a reply in a time pressured situation. People would try to guess what I was trying to say and to get it over with quicker I'd just agree!

There was no Dr Google, home computers or communication aids when I was young! (Trained on electric typewriter and Apple word processor when I as at college lol...no internet!)


I think my 'secret self' was because I was just very shy and phobic in the real world, hated having to do things while being watched, the anxiety would be so extreme I couldn't do it but could when alone so for example ..homework was always much better standard than classwork and I'd get accused of cheating or pretending I couldn't do things.

It's known as Exposure Anxiety in regards to Autism or used to be (not sure what term they use now) but I was in my 40's before I discovered and actually understood the complexities of being autistic!