sirniles333,

I know the pain you feel. The emotional rollercoaster. Anger, sadness, desperation, looking back, looking hopelessly forward. All I can say having gone through one divorce and now on my second. Lean on any support you have. Read what others go through and how they cope. Try to distract yourself and find something that occupies your mind. For me I know working out changes my chemical balance. I try to think rationally, knowing, I got throught this once, others are in the same situation, I will get through this again. I lost my best friend but I guess if I was not hers then someday I can find someone that feels the way about me that I did about her. Key here is not to dwell on the past or the future just look at the little daily tasks as a win and they will turn into daily wins, weekly wins, monthly wins and at yearly wins. Hang in there.