I don't have an answer as I have the same questions. A few differences: first (only) marriage of 23 years. Wife started to seem distant over the past two years ad we both suffered our own crisis. Then three months ago she started with she is not in love with me anymore, but got upset anytime I mentioned divorce. Now that is all she will talk about. She said the same thing about needing space and I suffered the same issues with reaching out as she is my best friend. I said/did some thing over the past 2-3 months that I am not proud of and may have been what actually killed things. I tried to explain that it was from hurt and sadness, not anger or hatred. She tells me that there are too many hurt feelings to go on. She won't tell me if it was from the past 2-3 months, the past 2 years, or the past 20 years. In hindsight I wish I would have found a way to give her the space and keep my reach-outs to a purely friendly "I'm still here and I support you" style, but I couldn't help myself. I don't know if we will ever reconcile (she insists we will not) but now that I have stopped relationship discussion we are becoming better friends... but it is REALLY REALLY hard to go on without a few answers that I know she has but con't give me. I wish you the best and might recommend that you try to honor her wishes to the level you can. My experience so far has been that the more I try to pull her back the more it actually pushes her away.