Well, the hypothetical dilemma didn't materialise because a decision has been made.

My mother has chosen to go to my brother's house on Christmas Day. He will bring her home that evening because she can't climb their stairs and won't sleep in the leather recliner chair in the lounge. His drinking will have to be curtailed.

So, what's been the reaction to this? Think I've handled it well by not reacting. Of course, then had all the drama about wishing we could all be together and when will the rift be healed. Again, I was the focus of her vitriol because I still wasn't acknowledging her feelings. Everything was then raked up about how hurt she was that I could walk away from her. She will not accept that her attitude is what's causing the ongoing problem between us. Doesn't understand why I've suddenly started visiting again.

What's really annoyed her is that my aunt is trying to act as peacemaker. She had suggested that mother phone me to find out if I'm okay. The answer was "I'm not phoning her". Again, exactly how her mother behaved when something didn't suit her. I said that my aunt had repeated this to me, so now my mother believes she's the subject of "tittle tattle". I've said no, because it's all true. Finally, she again accused me of sneering and smirking at her (a throwback to her childhood). This always comes out when she's not "winning" the argument. Whatever I said was talked over or pretence she didn't understand. A closed mind.

When I said I was not listening to any more, she said if you walk out then you're out of my life. Will be interesting what happens after she tells my brother this evening. Yes, I did walk out because I would have still been there now, going over and over the issue, how I've done her wrong.

The decision is made. I'm home alone on Christmas Day and it suits me. Still need to get some more food and a decent bottle of wine. Would rather do this than sit with a bunch of hypocrites (niece excepted).