Morning all. It's a tough morning, as most Mondays are, but I'm trying to stay positive. Couple highlights:

1. Wife is away. My wife is on vacation this week. It's a mixed blessing. Obviously, I miss her. But the quiet is kind of nice. Usually I'm sitting around waiting for the "other shoe to drop." I help her out with a lot of her business, which works well. She's a great manager, and I need direction.

Usually I feel a lot of stress. She's never overly demanding or punitive, but does seek my help and input a lot. This is a mixed blessing as well: it keeps me on track, but a lot of times I feel
(1) anxiety because I'm in a constant "fight or flight" mode. Waiting for
(2) lack of empowerment: it feels like the only time I can get things done

2. Weaning off medication. I was on Lamictal and Bupropion for a while, but I noticed a lot of side effects. Specifically Lamictal: it caused a lot of sensitivity and bleeding in my gums. Has anyone experienced this? I started taking it in the fall of 2016, and then in the spring of 2019 my gums began bleeding profusely whenever I brushed, and were extremely sensitive.

I would say I'm a lot more stable now than I was 5 years ago. Mostly because of meditation, support from my family, and removing toxic influences from my life (mostly my mom, dad, and brother). So I think Lamictal has "done its job," and I'm ready to wean off it. I went from taking 250mg every morning, to 150mg for 2 weeks, and now I'm down to 50mg.

I feel a lot more distraction, trouble staying motivation, and total disengagement from everything. I've been looking up a lot of info about burnout, and how to deal. It's a good "dry run," I guess.

3. Switching from coffee to tea. About 3 weeks ago (11/22, right before Thanksgiving), I began vomiting every morning. This was always right after I had my morning coffee. So I switched to tea. Mixed bag (sounds like the theme of the day lol): coffee gave me a jolt of energy instantaneously, whereas tea is a very mild upper. However, I don't have to toss my cookies every morning. That was no fun: it would leave me completely depleted, especially because it also flushed the medication out of my system.

So it's a slog, but I'm gonna try to keep my nose to the grindstone and get through the day. Wish you all love and many blessings of the day.