I got to talk to a very good friend of mine just now so that cheered me up a bit. Of course I didn't get to tell him about my failing mental health, just the urinary retention stories (didn't even get to the part where I passed out). I fear he's only my friend out of loneliness, that he doesn't really know me or even like me. Could just be the depression speaking, but I've had these thoughts for seemingly forever.

I talked to my NP today. She kept wanting to put me on weight gaining meds like Remeron and zyprexa. I Don't know why she would want to put me on zyprexa in the first place if haldol is doing its job better. She just wants to make me fatter so i hate myself even more than I already do so I kill myself and that's one less annoying patient she has to deal with. Course ya never know who would take my place...

Talk to my therapist in half an hour. Will probably update when done.