I have package anxiety. I have a few large and heavy packages I have to get from the package room downstairs, but I'm too exhausted to go through all that. I can wait another day or two before I deal with that.

I have general anxiety over all this pandemic stuff.

I have had strange nightmares and intrusive thoughts about past traumas. I'm not sure what past traumas have to do with this pandemic, but it sure seems to be coming up a lot since 2020.

I'm not sure how to cope anymore with all this anxiety. I do what I can, but my health is vastly deteriorating. If covid doesn't get me, this isolation will. It's like the abuser wanting to get me, but I'm safely locked away in my room - only to starve if I don't come out, but if I do, the abuser will get me. Covid is like the abuser to me. It wants to get me, torture me, and then kill me.

I have such morbid thoughts.

And yet I can't really remember, but I do see bits and pieces. My alters remind me what they know and why this pandemic scares them, too.