(((((((((((purplebutterfly)))))))))))))))0

Breathe. You tried, you did a good job with trying other positive coping mechanisms. When it gets really tough, even being able to try that is a good thing - even if it doesn't help.

We would notice if you disappeared, me especially. I like butterflies.

You are not messed up in the head, because it makes sense to me ... sometimes the thoughts about the unknown are more scary than what we already know (even if SI is bad) ... it's a comfort thing, because sticking to what we know helps with anxiety.

I'm sorry your T wasn't around... it sucks when our support network isn't there. I know the feeling... is there anyone else who might be able to help the next time you can't reach your T? A friend, someone who knows about your SIng?

It takes a lot of effort to stop. It takes falling, failing, and trying again... it takes more time, sometimes it feels impossible...

but it is possible. It just hurts a lot to change from what we know, to accepting that maybe there is another way to deal with things.

Repeat after me:

I am a good person, deserving of love and respect. Today might be hard, but that doesn't make me a bad person. If I fall, I can get right back up and try again. I am loved.

You are all of those things. PM me whenever you want, I mean that.