@Pjblueeyes - I'm so sorry your wife cheated on you! That's betrayal trauma! Most marriages don't even last that long, but that's such a long time to be involved with someone who then cheats on you. There's no excuse for that, IMHO. But then again, I've never been married. I have always thought that it is best to express when things aren't working and to see if it is worth salvaging the relationship. It's also traumatic to go through a breakup without any infidelity, but when cheating is involved, it turns into a form of betrayal.

I can understand your struggle with forgiveness.