I allowed my negativity at work to pour out onto my poor colleague yesterday, but I was beside myself and exasperated by a managerial decision that effected my work. I had worked on one project for at least a couple hours, and the Account Services VP decided that he doesn't want to send this work to my client. So why did I spend two hours or more on it then? I snapped. I unloaded on my account manager and told her it's really maddening that I don't have a voice anymore when it comes to my own client work and when it comes to communicating strategies to my own clients. All of my communications have to go through account services to the clients. I cannot email my clients directly, and that's a huge change they made in our process after my first tenure in this company. It leaves ME with very little voice, it takes away my ability to establish understanding and rapport with my clients, and I think it was a bad managerial decision to change the process. Before, I was able to establish trust with my clients through regular communications regarding strategies and steps. But now? It's as though they don't trust my team to communicate properly with our own clients.

I truly hate my company and it became known to my colleague even more through my outpour yesterday. I felt I couldn't control or help myself.... I don't like that feeling when I cannot control my reactions, but I couldn't help it - it just all came out.