Thanks, that helps.

I've often been in the position where I don't know what is being said, and if I say that... then I get "if you don't know then that's a problem". Or if I try to guess then I hear "oh, why would you think that I'd do that" ..makes me feel like I'm something that I know I'm not.

I'd like to know how to ask for answers, or to avoid offense (if that's what it is). Or maybe I can just learn to ignore what I can't find out but I want to find a way to tell someone that I heard it but I'm going to ignore it because I don't understand and you won't tell me. (I try hard and I feel disappointed when I can't get there)