I've been struggling with lot of stuff lately. Sometimes it feels like I don't understand what my reality is. It feels like reality is completely different than how I perceive it. Reality sometimes feels like a tangled mess that's too complex for my brain to understand.

Also been dealing with crazy people who live in these airbnb buildings. The building next to here is run by an insane hyper maniac who screams all the time. I heard him say he's a drug addict and drug dealer. I think a lot of them don't like me. A lot of times while walking past them I hear them whispering about me. I know some of them lived in my airbnd room and so they probably made a copy of the door key. Sometimes after coming back from my walk the smell of pot is very clear. I noticed Sally's water was milky looking and also her bottle of water had the same stuff which makes me fear that they're messing with her. I can't understand how her bottle of water got so murky. Her leaves have been dying lately. I try to change her water, but I think it hurts her roots when I do that.

Yesterday I suddenly felt like a completely different person who, a very disturbed messed up person with rage inside. After laying in bed for awhile I finally decided to try and kick it out of the front. To my surprise it worked. I instantly felt like I went to heaven. Everything felt so happy and light. That alter might be the part who was fronting the most when when we were tortured during infancy. Some of the parts say his name is Sam who age slides a lot from being an infant to a child. They say he's a persecutor.