It sounds like it was an abusive relationship that you got rid of, but you're still dealing with the attachment issues, which is called "trauma bond". So you are still trauma bonded with your abuser. Do you have a therapist? Therapy will be necessary to help you break that attachment you feel and also break the habit of wanting to know if he is thinking of you. Please read up on trauma bonding - it should help you to better understand WHY you're feeling this way towards someone who hurts you.