Compassion is my mother's favourite word. It's used at every opportunity to try and grind me down over the issue with my sister-in-law (well documented in another thread).

If I did relent in a situation where I'm the victim, it would be replaced with another issue, then another....

Strange how it can take a long time (I'm now in my mid-60s) to realise that your mother's behaviour is self-serving manipulation. Had I not asked last week, I still wouldn't know what she's doing for Christmas. Yet she can see no wrong in withholding information, drip feeding content into conversations to add drama.

Compassion is very over-rated when used as a tool for manipulation. Where it's genuinely given and received is a totally different "ball game".