Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope
You have to challenge your own thinking and desires: WHY would you want someone to contact you when you’re afraid of them and when they’ve hurt you terribly? The real truth is that this person is bad for you and toxic to you- why would you put your hand on a lit burner? You wouldn’t right? It’s the same thing.
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^^^^this. Times 100.
Abuse is a cycle. Our brain chemistry betrays us when trauma bonds exist. We have to train our brains to not be rewarded by the bits of "good" that linger. The reward of an apology, a promise, attention and intimacy is temporary.
In my experience, in those times when I couldn't afford therapy but needed support as I was retraining my thought processes and breaking my own cycle of abuse, I substituted therapy with al anon meetings. These free meetings gave me support and many times, got me through rough patches in refocusing my energy and retraining my thought process.