Hi lilah, I'm sorry you are having trouble with your friend. I don't get that your friend is bad, or even that you are a martyr. It sounds to me more like two friends who each have some trouble of their own which, strains things between you. We all learn different ways to balance that.

It's really good that you are getting help for yourself. That has to be your first priority, pretty much always. Sometimes a simple picture can illustrate a point that might take up too much space with words. (gotta laugh at myself for a moment, there.)

Picture: You and your best friend sailing together in seperate leaky sail boats. Niether boat will hold both of you. You help eachother bail water when one is leaking faster than the other. But when yours is about to go under, you have to bail your own first. And the same is true for your friend.

Life is just like that. I hope things feel better and you get back to some smooth sailing together.