I've had a mixture of that happen to me.

I sometimes ask for rides and always fear that they will cancel last-minute, or forget, etc. I try to confirm the night before or even the morning of, but I know that can be too much for some. When they don't answer, I freak out until the time comes when they are scheduled to arrive, and then they just magically appear. All that worrying is on me, but it's hard when I've had so many people let me down in the past.

More times than not, I'm able to communicate well enough to find the right people to help me, and my fears don't come to fruition.

That said, I've sometimes offered to help others but my chronic fatigue syndrome/myalgic encephalomyelitis will get in the way, so I would have to cancel last-minute. My own fears rebounded to the point where I started doing that - bust strictly unintentionally. I had to realize my new limitations with this worsening condition, and so that helped me to ascertain what areas I can help out in and what areas I can't. I try to let people know ahead of time of my struggles, so that they don't depend on me too much, since my physical mobility issues interfere with my being dependable. I used to always be dependable, but I hate that I can't be anymore. I used to enjoy helping people, volunteering, etc. I sadly can't do as much anymore. I fear that I've let some people down, and I know that I have from the few friends I lost because I couldn't hang out with them anymore. I feel bad, but they didn't believe me when I said how I struggled. They saw a very fit, thin woman back then. They didn't see the gray-haired, obese woman of today from the worsening condition they though I lied about. I tried to reach out from time to time, but that's the perils of being homebound and sometimes bedbound from CFS/ME. I can say the same for those who struggle with certain mental disorders, too. It's not as easy as keeping your word when your body and/or mind get sick in one way or another. And then comes the loneliness that inevitably ensues, as well as lost friendships and lost trust. It's frustrating.

So I've been on both sides.

And yet I still struggle with such fears.

Childhood emotional neglect (CEN) makes the feelings all the more compounded.