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Tjpg
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Member Since Nov 2021
Location: Barrie Ontario
Posts: 26
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Default Dec 20, 2021 at 10:15 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by DevastatedinAZ View Post
Thanks Tom,

I dont know where this will go. If anywhere. I may not even know if I want it depending on how much has "changed". Clearly, something broke between us and that is a lot to fix, repair and earn trust again.

Right? If the other is completely a new person now, who knows... Even with that said, so much work has to be done on both sides to be successful. And Im not even sure both sides have the strength and/or endurance. Its an interesting observation that with no contact and the further I distance myself, the more she contacts and wants to bring me in closer. You kind of start to see a shift in the power struggle. With no contact, that gets her thinking she made have made a mistake.

I just wanted to share my story for anyone that follows and hope that this helps in some way. You really need to focus on yourself and improve yourself mentally (therapist) and physically (exercise). I pray every night (for the kids, for her and then for me), I work on pushing myself forward with life and with a sprinkle of no contact and hope for the best.

She is now seeing a therapist which is good. She has come forward and taken responsibility for her failures in the relationship. So that is good. I am not 100% at fault. I never thought I was, but it is nice to be vindicated and validated. And then her telling me the things I mentioned above. So we see where this leads and see what options, if any, we have at our discretion.
Hey Jeff,

I think you should take a moment and be proud of yourself for not only being an adult about this whole situation, but for starting to really search yourself and find out what YOU want. Its difficult to ask yourself the hard questions/life changing questions when you realise that you are better than how you are being treated and whether or not you will stand for it against someone that you love, and that is hard. I'm happy to hear that she is getting some help through therapy. Its amazing how helpful a therapist can be.
It sounds like you are being kind to yourself, and taking things as they come. Try not to plan out what every move will be, you might find it completely exhausts you over time.

Tessa
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Thanks for this!
workinonit32