Well she asked for tax docs today to file. I guess this is happening. Although she said she was done multiple times I still kept holding out hope. I guess the only positive is I can start to heal without the hesitation in the back of my mind. I lost it infront of my kids today, I tried to turn it into a positive. Told the kids that I want her to be happy even if it isn't with me which is true. Also, told them that prayers are not always answered because you never know what the future will hold. I would have never met my second wife if their mom and I didn't split and looking back we were both happier. I told them that someday if they have their hear broke that they can look back and know that their dad has been through the worst multiple times and still made it through.

I'll never know how my life could be flipped upside down in three months. No indication and according to her multiple times not cheating, I believe her. She text me more today then she did in the past month. It was all about the divorce but at least I wasn't getting four word answers. I got to tell her my peace and that I will always love her and that she made me a better person. I thanked her for the time we had and that I didn't regret any time with her. It was the best 7 years of my life. That's why it was such a shock and why it is so hard. I don't know how I'll ever find something like that again but I know I need to heal properly, learn to love myself again and maybe someday I'll go looking for for everything I had plus someone that could communicate. I hope she is out there and that someday I'm not too damaged from two divorces to screw that up too. I appreciate the support here and all the encouragement. If you are going through the pain take it from someone who is in the middle of it but has been in the other side. It will get better and you truly never know what the future holds. Remember a good marriage never ends in divorce and there is no such thing as a perfect marriage, it takes work.