I can only speak for what my husband says about his "cyber flings"; for him it is just an escape from real life, a place to get an adrenaline rush, some excitement. Ironically enough, we have always had a FANTASTIC sex life (in BOTH of our opinions), but both times he's looked for something else online, I was pregnant. Our sex lives were still good, but not as "adventurous" or as active as it was when I wasn't pregnant. So in that regard, I guess he was looking for something "he wasn't getting at home".

Imagine this 50sguy: you're sick, something that restricts you physically, and your wife seeks sexual stimulation with strangers online. The emails and chatting leads to phone calls, which could lead to...? I've heard alot of people who get caught up in extramarital affairs say "I never meant for it to happen, it just did." The men your wife would be talking to may be strangers, but they're still people, it's not like reading a magazine or watching porn, the other person is REAL. You still wouldn't consider that cheating?

People don't always stray because something is missing in their relationship, sometimes they stray because they feel something is missing in their lives. And sometimes they stray because they are trying desperately to fill a void, or heal something in themselves. The bottom line is that no matter what the reason, the other person in the relationship is hurt, and the trust between them is broken.