When you do the same thing all the time because it reminds you of a moment in your life you can't accept/let go?

I have this burgundy colored North Face hoodie and its not even the exact one because my first one became too big so I bought a smaller size. But its my favorite hoodie and I wear it several times a week and I keep it spotless and I put it in the wash every week before seeing if I need to use oxy clean anywhere.

Last December I saw Pete Davidson wearing it on SNL and I liked it so that Monday I went to Dicks Sporting Goods and got one. Thats when the whole forced into IOP/no therapist support/being alone on Christmas thing happened.

Now I am obsessed with wearing this hoodie because I feel kinda like its connected to that time period that I am now having trouble accepting and letting go.

But does anyone have any idea what this could be? I remember in a TV show called Hey Arnold a kid named Chocolate Boy got addicted to chocolate after his aunt left him and gave him a bag of chocolate as a goodbye gift.

I feel like that sometimes. Like I'm connected to the hoodie because I felt lonely last Christmas and I feel like it messed with me.

Sorry if this post made zero sense I hope somebody could follow it.