Sorry about my first post, I was just trying visualize where you might be. When I looked at your post again this evening, this statement jumped out at me.
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Why couldn't I know how this made me feel when I was there with him and discuss it with him?

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Could this temporary emotional blindness be related to what you describe in one of your other posts? The one where you mentioned that when you're in therapy, he makes you feel so good that it is sometimes difficult for you to feel and accurately describe the anxiety you feel in other settings.

How about this...

Maybe you weren't actually feeling stressed, weirded out during your session. Maybe you felt a little bit concerned about his attending and slipped into a "I need some time to think about this mode." Which I think is OK. I Then your brain later started thinking about started thinking about all the possible ramifications of him attending and started analyzing your actions, and then the anxiety.

Sorry, my brain has latched on this this a bit too much.