Hey, New T, I had a dream about you last night... Out of nowhere it seems. Actually, I had a few dreams last night, one of which included all my teeth falling out! I dreamt that you had decided you couldn't work with me anymore. Because I reminded you too much of yourself, and you hadn't done the work on that part of you necessary in order to work with me. In one way you were really nice about it, in another way you were so mean when I got upset. You told me to get a hold of myself, basically stop being a baby about it all. I was trying to explain that a big part of my journey has been about allowing these feelings. How I never would have got upset about things in the past, but that now I wanted to be different. But in the bath yesterday I was wondering if I really DID want things to be different after all. Feelings are SO hard!! This anxiety I am feeling over COVID and Christmas is crazy. I feel all jittery in my arms... I've had a headache for two weeks now and I am getting occasional chest pains. I can't speak to the doctor because they are all busy dealing with the boosters so I spoke to the pharmacy who suggested Kalms. So I am going to take those and see what they do. Doesn't help I've just been told we are short staffed over the Christmas weekend so I will have to work harder now and my Dad is stuck in self isolation because his day two PCR test hasn't arrived and now we don't know what to do! Hopefully he can book another one and get the results in time for Saturday. But yeah, some days I would rather go back to how I was before, but then I know I would t have any of the friends that I have now. I wouldn't have my wonderful other half and I wouldn't have experienced the love I felt from and for Ex T, so, maybe I have to take the poison with the pie??