I really don't feel christmassy, and it actually sucks

tomorrow is christmas eve, and I'll be watching the muppet's christmas carol- a tradition I have had for many years

it just feels so blah, like do I ****ing have to?. do I ****ing have to celebrate the holidays when it's just me?. no one else?

yes, yes I do because if I don't, I'm labeled as a screwdge, or a grinch, and I'm not either

I guess I'm angry at christmas and the fact I just don't have anyone to celebrate it with