@Rose76 - I'm sorry for your loss of your longterm boyfriend. My condolences. ((((safe hugs))))

Regarding your friend, it sounds like the relationship wasn't reciprocal, if you gave more than she did in the relationship. Even if this pandemic weren't here, there are those friends who distance themselves when we try to better ourselves; typically, those friends aren't real friends at all to begin with. It's funny how when we do something to better ourselves, we learn quickly who are real friends are, who our jealous/competitive friends are, and then who our using friends/acquaintances-at-best are. This pandemic has brought about differences in safety, politics, religion, cultural beliefs and practices, interdependency/collectivist-friendly versus anti-collectivism/pro-individualism/freedom, and general differences in the reciprocity of the relationship. This pandemic has either caused us to improve ourselves via safety or to take more risks than would be necessary with anti-safety risk patterns. So those relationships that would have been stressed anyway were just simply stressed sooner and more overtly than later and more covertly.

We all need healthy give-and-take relationships. The only exception to that concerns our therapists, psychiatrists, doctors, and sometimes bosses/coworkers, insofar that they aren't our "friends" or "family" per se, but rather providing a service or money in exchange for your money or service. Therapists may seem like they give in a lot to you, but if you try to care about a therapist, it's likely the therapist isn't going to allow much of that, given their lack of sharing their lives with you, etc. And even then, there has to be some sort of balance and expectations met for even professional, therapeutic, and medical relationships.

You are better off without this friend. It sounds like what you need is (a) closure, (b) healthy grieving processes - which is what you're doing now, and (c) support - online and IRL via phone, Zoom, email, text, or safely in person. You can also evaluate what kind of improvements you want to make for yourself going forward, and that includes safety, the kinds of friends you allow in your circle, and the kind that you keep at a distance.

If your friend wants to contact you again, you can keep it to acquaintance talk, like "small talk." You can briefly ask how your friend is doing, and perhaps share with one another how you each need to set health boundaries, given your political and safety differences. That talk will help build the relationship or bring closure to an already disrupted relationship. It seems as though your friend had already made the choice to ghost you and move on to other risky relationships. That's not on you at all; that's on her. You aren't responsible for her risk, and you did the best you could to set a positive, healthy example. She didn't like to hear that, so she left instead of kindly explaining that she has different views. At this point in time, even discussing things like her taking extra risks to party unmasked and unvaccinated with others wouldn't be a pleasant conversation for you anyway. So it doesn't have to even be arguments to be "disgusted" or "worried" when hearing a risky person continuously taking risks that could cost them or others their lives in one way or another, whether it be to increase tensions and suicides among overworked healthcare workers because of hospital surges, deaths among those you both know, permanent disabilities among those you both know, or time off work and career losses, etc. There's much loss when it comes to people who choose risky lives - even with abusing alcohol and/or drugs, especially if they are caring for a parent, a disabled family member, or children; it's similar risks that can cost people their lives, but the pandemic is much, much more of a risk, and it increases potential for addictions, too.

It is also likely that our discussions and boundaries for safety upset the risk-taking antivaxxers, too. The best we can do, again, is ignore what upsets us and move on to simply stick with people we agree with. That's the only way we can reduce stress (so that our immune systems can be functioning better), not give into political wearing-down of the opponent (which is what some purposely do when they start arguments with anyone on the opposing side) by actually walking away and finding validation with like-minded people, and do the best we can to live this life according to our values. It's like separating two enemies or rivals to maintain the peace these days; the arguments and divisions are that heated!!

The consequences will speak for themselves in the end - for both sides, not just one. But we weigh the costs and make a choice.

I, for one, agree with your choices, Rose.