I worked with my first T from about 1995-1998ish… I hated her, we were a bad match, it went to hell in a hand basket before I decided to work with someone else (who was in many ways worse… but)… we had always gone to the same church but kept our distance. After I basically fired her we were less distant at church and she became a close mentor… then basically family. I used to go “home” to her place every December and stay with her and her husband while helping at their huge holiday party. The past few years I have been really bad about staying in touch. I got a Christmas card from her and her husband and made myself suck it up and write back. I convinced myself there was nothing wrong, I was just catastrophising because I had been so bad about keeping in touch.

I wasn’t catastrophising.



T1 has dementia. Her husband wrote me back to let me know that he shared the letter I sent but the dementia has advanced to a point where she is no longer able to communicate.

Awesome T is traveling today for Christmas and is unlikely to check email… my phone is MIA so I can’t call. Art T would just piss me off if she tried to be supportive. Awesome T comes back Sunday and we see eachother Monday… then Thursday he goes away for three months.

Now I know why T1 snipped at me last time we talked… she was struggling, she knew… and she wasn’t ready to tell me or she thought I already knew.