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Old Dec 23, 2021, 09:46 PM
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wildflowerchild25 wildflowerchild25 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: NJ
Posts: 6,434
I had a very good day today…until now. I seriously don’t know what’s happened. I was fine, I made dinner, I made cookies with my son, I watched a couple of Christmas movies with my boys. And as soon as I got into bed I feel

Possible trigger:


It’s SO strong, like physical need, I don’t want to, I HAVE to. Like something’s gonna snap in my brain if I don’t. I keep telling myself 20 years is long enough, 20 years is long enough, over and over and over. It’s the only thing stopping me. I’m not even sure it will stop me tonight.

I need to do grounding I guess, and fast because I’m starting to panic. It’s unfortunate that one of my main grounding skills is aromatherapy because I still can’t smell.

I’m listening to a list of songs that are NOT depressing because that would make everything worse. I think I’m gonna grab an ice pack or something. Some paced breathing.

I mean out of nowhere, like a bag of sand right to the stomach. I just don’t get it. I’d wake up RS but he went to bed so tired I feel bad.

I’m gonna get my weighted unicorn and an ice pack. I’ll be ok until morning. I just hate this feeling.
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore

That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
Hugs from:
Nammu, Sunflower123, VerMOZZica
Thanks for this!
~Christina