A workbook sounds like a great idea to me. I don't know of any but can search for a good one unless you know of one. It would be nice if some other people with DID would join.

My alters used to journal when we were seeing our DID therapist but I kind of got freaked out by a lot of things and the journaling stopped. A lot of the alters wanted to help me years ago. There's one alter, HAL, who wanted to help me years ago. He's a computer alter who says he's the gatekeeper of the library of our early childhood memories. I don't know how HAL did it but one day he said he was going to give me one of our infancy memories and all of a sudden I was in a dark room laying on my back as an infant with this cruel person, my older brother, on top of me. It looked and felt very real, but then a minute after the memory flashback I had a 20 minute long NES and another 20 minute NES the next day because of the flashback memory. After that HAL was never willing to share any more of our infancy memories with me. It probably made him feel bad even though I tell him it's okay.

Thanks for the help! What you say about therapist makes sense. It is difficult to find a good one and my system wants me to find another one. Sitting here alone all the time is probably a big cause for sinking into further darkness. Having therapy every week might help but I'm afraid it might pull me back into the weekly bipolar cycle. I'm afraid the new therapist will require me to go to a psychiatrist. Not that I've taken a lot of different meds over the past few years but I've been on pretty high strength wellbutrin, latuda, seroquel, zoloft, aplenzin, lexapro. In the end none of them really helped much. I was so hopeful for latuda but it did nothing tbh. Like so many people have said meds don't seem to help a lot of people with dissociation disorders.

Thanks!