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Originally Posted by nonightowl
This reminds me of a neighbor (sadly) in my building who once kept calling me to vent and to ask for advice about her family dynamics. And I listened. She once said thanks and it goes both ways. Right......The last time I talked to her, over a year ago, I had woken her but said sorry I'll call back. She said that's okay, but she listened for just a minute or so. Then said, "I didn't get much sleep last night so going back to my nap." And she hung up on me.
So when I need somebody, she doesn't have the time. Yet she took up so much of my time with her stories. ***** &*^$#(@ phony people and lip service. I was skeptical of her "that goes both ways" claim and I was right. I never completely trusted her, and I'm glad I didn't.
Thankfully I haven't seen her. She hasn't officially moved out, but she's seldom here so it's like she's not here anymore. Unfortunately she parks near me so I used to run into her all the time.  She's the only person I know who's been here longer than I have. And remembers the previous managers.
We're on the same page with COVID, last time we talked about that. She said her mom's caregiver refuses to wear a mask, along with her mom. Both are or were in denial about it. My neighbor was livid about it.
I don't know where she is or why she's hardly here----I spot her car once in awhile for about a minute then she's gone again. But I don't miss her.
For awhile it was okay, as she was the only neighbor I knew well enough to call and ask if she knows what's going on with the water or stuff like that. Now there's nobody to ask.
If she ever talks to me again, I'll just say hello but that's it. If she brings up talking on the phone, I'll remind her she hung up on me which was very rude, considering how many times she's called me and I listened to HER.
 
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Narcissist is a term that gets overused these days, but I think your neighbor qualifies as one. So is this friend of mine. What we learn is that it absolutely does NOT go both ways. They perpetually require more attention than they are ever going to offer anyone else.
I call it a childlike narcissism. A 3 year old will say "I did this, and I did that, and look at the picture I drew, and guess what happened to me." The child is unlikely to say, "So tell me about your day." It's a persistent focus on self that we accomodate in someone who is three. But people need to grow up. Instead, some persons get shrewd about spotting tolerant individuals who will indulge their self-absorption, and they exploit them for all they can get.
This friend of mine is very intelligent. She sizes people up pretty good. She told me that - when she is in any kind of need - God sends someone to help her. She told me she looks around to see who God has possibly sent and usually finds someone. Then she thanks God for being so good to her. Once, when she missed a bus, she flagged down a car to give her a ride. The driver took her to the door of her destination. She first explained to the driver that she was not like the characters one sees on corners begging for change from drivers stopped at lights, but that she was special with a legitimate need and worthy of an act of kindness . Yup - sounded like narcissism then, and she continues being among the very "special."