I am having a really bad day. Lots of flashbacks and body memories and I don't understand why I keep having them. I feel broken, unhinged and scattered. I want to take the rubber band off my wrist, I want to feel the physical pain, can't deal with the emotional any more.Not even cuddling with my 5 week old grand daughter is helping. I just feel so sad, and I can't stop crying. I am so tired of being me, I want to disapear wish i could do so with out upsetting my daughters. Wish i didn't care.


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